Good lawd, children, another glorious Monday is upon us! Yes, and the Good Rev is here to tell you he had one helluva fucking awesome weekend! Hope you motherfuckers had the same.
Now, faithful, that being said, the Good Rev would also like to express his appreciation for your continued support of The Church Of The Hard Fucks. Yes, the church rocked again yesterday ... the Sunday Hard Pounder is a keeper, suckers.
Okay, okay ... the Good Rev was sitting in the Confessional listening as the sins of the flesh were revealed ... and, well, er, ah ... he was suddenly turned at the thought of a good HAND JOB! Phew, it took a lot to admit that, flock. Yeah.
Praiz The Lawd, the Good Rev immediately searched the world for something that would convey his thoughts to the Congregation ... hallelujah. Yes, kids, imagine Hilda up there pumping away, while Adam Sandler sings for the faithful. Holy shit, really, can you picture it?
Okay, okay, enough of that mushy shit, be sure to read the lyrics, suckers ... they are so fucking unique!
At A Medium Pace
Performed by Adam Sandler
Put your arms around me baby
Can't you see I need you so
Hold me close against your skin
I'm about to begin
Lovin' you
Spit on your hand and stroke my cock
At a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me
How big they are
Honey, rub your beaver
Up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed
And watch me whack off
You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out
At a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick
And how big it was
Now shave off my pubes
And punch me in the face
Whoa darlin'
Make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman
And take my picture to show
All the people you work with
Now pull up my scrotum
And take the shampoo bottle
Out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off
Strap on a dildo
And make me give you head
Tell me to slow down
And do it at a medium pace
I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell me it's time to make love
But now I can't
'Cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes
And you realize
How much I enjoy lovin' you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at lovin' you
Have at motherfuckers!
Hallelujah (69x)
AMEN
10 comments:
What a waste. I have a far more open and inviting recepticle for your spunkage, Rev.
(All together now, open wide!)
To Whom It May Concern:
I do realise that the lyrics to Mr. Sandler's song are supposed to be humourous.
And I am quite sure that upon listening to the actual tune, I would have an entirely different experience with these lyrics.
However, at this point in time...
I am UNBELIEVABLY turned-on at the whole entire course of events taking place here.
I was just about to go find myself my favourite shampoo bottle, grab the lube and go to town...
Then I, unfortunately, took another look at the picture you posted.
And, well, that settled that.
The next time you post an erotic tale about a man sucking upon my strap-on, shooting jizz all over his taut tummy as I shove toiletries into his tight, little asshole...please, oh please, post an appropriate picture to go along with it.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Signed,
The Tight End Supply Sergeant
~places strap-ons, Holy Lube, shampoo bottles, and blindfolds into the collection plate~
Happy Monday!!!
I am afraid of Hilda and I am not ashamed to admit it!
Hilda scares me too, but love me some Adam Sandler.
G'morning all
I wonder about you sometimes!
Hey, All! I've always wondered how Sandler would be in bed...
Where'd those body paints go, anyway?
I say we tie Hilda up spread-eagled on the pool table and let the Worker Men have thier way with her.
Though, we'll turn the video cameras off for that one.
Greenie...I've often wondered that myself as I've got a thing for funny men.
And I'm thinkin'....especially after hearin' this song...that he'd be pretty fuckin' great.
~places more chocolate body paints into the collection plate~
There ya go!
Can I be first, Ms. Green?
Green Eyes here is the body paint. I think there is some left.
Where is the yellow dildo?? Strumpet do you have it?
~extends arm out from inside the confessional booth, with yellow dildo in hand and waves it around~
Yoo-hoo...
Erika....
Come and get it.
Hi, Owen! Welcome!! It's good to see that you wear your seatbelt.
There's condoms and Holy Lube available in the collection plate.
Enjoy!
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